2371

Aaron,

I was assigned a grief counsellor.

They recommended I write to you, to process some of what I’ve been feeling since you failed to show up for our date, again.

The second time in 12 years, might I add. Yes I suppose that is a long timeframe but let’s be honest, I thought you would have learnt from past mistakes.

I feel almost guilty that I am being offered these services and being included in this process. It’s not like we even had the chance for our second chance after all.

I suppose I’m feeling...angry.

When we reconnected on the Mallus mission I didn’t know how this would go. It had been so long that the original hurt had subsided and all that was left was regret. Regret that you had messed up and we ended what could have been something wonderful, that the last 12 years had been without that something wonderful, and we will never have known what could have been.

Now, knowing that you missed our rendezvous a second time for reasons that you couldn’t have possibly controlled, I don’t feel regret.

You’re “missing”.

Well, hurry up and be found please. I’m tired of waiting.

I’m also trying not to think about why I’ve been assigned a grief counsellor, when they’re still out looking for you.

Dina

2372

Aaron,

It’s been a year.

I honestly don’t know if you’re coming home anymore.

We had a meeting of the Voyager crew’s families and loved ones on DS9 last week, I was there with the Hood for repairs so I thought I’d go along.

It was...nice.

I still felt like an imposter though, despite knowing that you mean a lot to me in my own heart we had nothing to show for it but a promise of something more.

I wish we got our chance. Some days I don’t know if we ever will again, but those are the days I work myself extra hard to quiet that kind of thinking.

Wherever you are, I hope you think of me.

Dina

2373

Aaron,

This is the last letter I’ll write, as 2 years have passed and they’ve officially stopped searching for you.

Some of us still have hope, like Gres and some of us are in full denial like Honigsberg.

But honestly? Starfleet have decreed you’re gone and that’s all we have to go on.

I can’t wait any longer, Aaron. I am sorry, but 14 years is long enough. I need to move on and stop moping after you, after the idea that you’ll appear one day and we’ll finally be able to go to Pacifica. It’s time for me to stop holding on to the joy of the unknown and face reality.

I will always mourn the chance we had to try again.

The future for me looks like Klingon battles and Dominion plots, but I am a Starfleet officer and we are stronger than they think.

I have to be.

I hope you were strong too.

Goodbye, Aaron.

Dina