I remember when I was making my way up the ranks how some of the older officers and admirals would raise an eyebrow, or let an expression of surprise play out over their faces when I mentioned settling down with Gretchen and starting a family.

We had all heard the stories. Starship captains and crew members striking out into the unknown and finding nothing except circumstances to tear them apart.

It’s why I took an assignment in San Francisco. But it seems that while the universe has many wonders, its horrors can find you even behind a desk.

There really is no adequate way to prepare yourself for when your job requires you to read reports and testimonies that shake you to your core.

Then there are the images.

A part of me feels guilty for not being home more often. I miss them all. Gretchen. Katie. Phoebe… Even Bramble. Especially Bramble.

It’s not their fault the Cardassians attacked Setlik III.

It’s not their fault that I’m having to coordinate efforts to search Federation bio records for friends and family. Often based on DNA samples extracted from beaten and mutilated bodies.

But they’re paying the price.

I don’t even feel I can complain too much, at least I’m not there on the ground extracting those samples. But going down that line of thought just makes me feel an even deeper sadness for those that do.

Starfleet is determined to take the diplomatic approach, smiling and nodding while the Cardassians refer to the brutal murder of almost a hundred innocents as a ‘terrible mistake’. Like they accidentally hit send on a strongly worded letter. Then there are the assurances about improving their intelligence apparatus. As though that’s meant to be a comfort?

I just wish there was something more we could have done, and could be doing. Some way that we could help the survivors re-locate, or re-build overnight. Instead, they’re having to face their worst fears day in and day out as we struggle to get resources out to the border.

We have so much more to worry about now.

One day soon, maybe the Cardassians will too.